Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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