i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm sobbing to NWA
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have post one night stand depression
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