You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
