Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
