dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
