You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
