can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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