we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
