He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
