Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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