Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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