is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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