I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
