I want to have your abortion
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
