Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
