i don't like sucking hair
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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