hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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