The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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