oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
