You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
