Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
