would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
