For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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