I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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