Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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