i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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