I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
