Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
