If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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