And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
