I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
