i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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