What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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