when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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