After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
