I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
