I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
