Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
