remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
