so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He felt like a one man threesome
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
