Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
