Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
