I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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