it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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