I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
