If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
