Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
