i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
A+ Viking dick
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
