No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
