I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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