these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
