I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
