is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
