I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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