Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize