I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
