Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
