which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
