Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
