i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
