guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
